Here’s a cautionary tale from the Associated Press:

A man wearing a ski mask walked into a bank and demanded money, then told tellers, “just kidding,” authorities said.

Ryan Wright, 20, surrendered to police Monday night, said Sgt. Mark Hanson, a Williston police detective. Wright was formally charged Tuesday.

Judge David Nelson set his bail at $1,000 and ordered Wright to stay away from alcohol and bars….

“He never showed a weapon, but the tellers got quite scared and concerned and thought the worst,” Hanson said.

No customers were in the bank at the time of the Feb. 17 incident, he said. Wright then went about his banking business, taking some money from his checking account and then leaving.

If convicted, Wright faces up to five years in jail and a $5,000 fine.

“You don’t walk into a bank with a ski mask and say ‘Give me all your money,’ ” Hanson said. “It’s just like going on an airplane and saying you have a bomb.”

You’ve got to think faster on your feet than Ryan did if you’re going to be a lawbreaker. What he should have said to the police was “Dude, when I said ‘Give me all your money,’ I was just singing the Stones tune ‘Some Girls‘ out loud….The mask? Why I’m just complying with the European Union’s Optical Radiation Directive to avoid sunburn.”

See, no problem. Feel free to use these excuses if you’re ever in similar straits. Let me know how it turns out – by email, not in person.

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